Goodbye dear friend...

I'm referring to the end of a chapter of our lives and the start of a new one. I'm talking about saying goodbye to this blog that I've had since 2005. This blog that I've posted all my thoughts and feelings to during our adoption wait, in China, and then back at home. This blog that has been the catalyst to meeting so many wonderful friends over the years. It's funny how a tiny place in cyber-space can come to mean SO much to us, as this blog has to me.

I now have a new place to call my home and that's where I'll be for now on. You can find me HERE. Please come on by and visit often!

So now, with almost a quarter million visitors since the start, this is the end of this chapter.

Baby, your Elmo is showing...


Whoops, momma's busted!


The rear view is much cuter at this age, don't ya think?

Just time for a quick post tonight. Joe and I met a family from our China travel group for lunch on Saturday. They were in town for vacation and it was SO great to see them again and catch up a little bit. Here's Leslie and me with the girls...


Here's a few more pics from the weekend...







Bento? Hell no! But I can manage a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cookie cutters...


Lauren liked it just the same...

Elmo love...

Update...

We're still hanging in there, but Lauren is having some difficulty with the adjustment of me going back to work. It mostly shows when she gets up from her naps and someone she wasn't expecting is there to get her. When Joe is home with her she is looking for me and when I'm spending time with her on the weekends, she is looking for her Baba. She'll ask for the missing person and when she's told that they aren't here and will be back later she cries. Joe was with her all this past week and then spent the day out of town with friends on Saturday. Lauren had several crying fits after asking for Baba, including throwing herself on the floor crying and kicking. I just try to reassure her that I'm here for her and that Baba will be home soon. Once she snaps out of it, she's fine.

I don't know for sure if this is normal 2 year old behavior or if it's because of all the change she's been through over the past 4 months. I just try to be as patient and understanding as I can because I can tell she's confused at times and needs to feel secure. This is easier said than done, because we're all human and I'm not going to say that it doesn't sting sometimes when I'm with her and she's throwing a tantrum for Baba. No one ever said parenthood would be easy!

Well, let's get on to some pictures. Last weekend we went to a peach festival at a local farm. It was a nice event, but it was WAY TOO HOT to be out there. We only lasted a couple of hours in the heat, but Lauren got to ride a pony for the first time. Here's a couple of scrap pages for her 1st year book (click to enlarge)...


After the festival, we stopped for lunch. Look Dad, Lauren knows how to fold her pizza over now like a true New Yorker...


Here she is posing with her first refrigerator masterpiece...


This pic was taken on Saturday morning. We were on the way out and she had just given Lucy (our furbaby) her treat. She loves to do this...


Yesterday we spent the day hanging out with some friends at the pool. Lauren got a hold of her sunglasses and wore them all the way over there...

I'm hanging in there...

but it sure is HARD going back to work!

On Monday morning Lauren woke up before I left at 6:15am, so I was able to hold her for a few minutes before I left. I told her that Baba was going to watch Elmo and have breakfast with her and that I was going to work and would be back after she gets up from "nite-nite". Then I gave her a kiss good-bye along with a quick hug. She said the sweetest "good-bye" while I was walking down the hall to the garage. I didn't loose it until I got in the car and I managed to gain my composure pretty quickly. I had arranged to pick up my friend, Christine, on the way in...I figured if I was distracted with chit chat, I wouldn't be tearing up.

The work day flew by and before I knew it, it was 5pm and time to go. I only called Joe once that morning and I got through the day without any tears until I called Joe on the way home. He said that Lauren was crying and calling for me when she got up from her nap. With that, the water works started and I had a little cry on the way home.

The very BEST part of the day was coming home and seeing her smiling face waiting to give me a big hug! Joe has been great and he's had dinner ready when I got home for the past two days so I can maximize my time with Little Miss. The three hours we have before she goes to bed flies by and it's just not nearly enough! Monday night as she feel asleep in my arms, I couldn't help but tear up again wondering how I was going to get up and do it all over again the next day.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy and it isn't, that's for sure! But, I can say with all honesty that it hasn't been as hard as I had worked up in my mind over the past few years while waiting and wondering how I'm going to go back to work. I am lucky that Joe will be home until he starts working again. The lose of his salary is hard on the pocket, but works well for Lauren right now. By the time he gets work, she will be ready to go into daycare and spend the day with other children. I think that will actually be very good for her and will go a long way in continuing to pick up the language and learning.

Thank you all so much for your well wishes!

Mother's Day...

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day, especially those celebrating their very first one! For me there were some tears, but they were happy tears. As I was holding Lauren this morning I thought about the many years we had hoped and prayed for a child and finally she is here! It felt amazing!

Lauren has had a runny nose and a cough since Friday, but today she seemed a little better when she woke up. Now Joe and I both have sore throats and runny noses. I guess whatever Lauren gets will probably always run it's course through the house!

Today we took my Mom to an early lunch at Macaroni Grill (yum!) and then just had a quite day at home...just what I wanted. Also, I woke up to very sweet cards and a Brighton ID bracelet that says "Mother". I love it.

Here's a pic of Lauren showing Grandma ("ma") her gift...


The best part of any gift is playing with the tissue paper. Where's Lauren??


Oh, THERE she is!!!


This is fun "ma"!


Here we are before we headed out for lunch...

This week, blog makeovers, and Blogville...

Thank you all for your well wishes and encouragement about heading back to work next week. We've been taking it really slow and savoring every minute of this week, and it's been very nice.

As we get closer to Monday, I'm getting more and more anxious about leaving her. I know she's in good hands with Joe and that does help with my anxiety. For those of you still waiting to bring your children home...be sure to enjoy every moment of being home because it goes SO very fast. I feel like the time I had with Lauren over these past four months was just priceless and I am so thankful for the close bond we were able to form.

Also this week, during Lauren's naps and at night, I was able to finish up the four blog makeovers for the winners I drew, plus I did a makeover for a friend and China travel mate. Here's the headers I did and you can see the complete blog makeovers at the links below...


All About Elizabeth (Anne)

Simply Mia (Susan, Matt & Mia)

Moments with Miya Mei (Sara)

From Dawn til Dusk (Dawn & Dale)

Our Sweet Julia (Diane & John)

I've been thinking a lot about what to do with my blog at this point. During the wait, I had always thought I would close it down once I went back to work. I figured I wouldn't have the time to keep it up anymore. I'm finding now that it's harder than I thought to just shut it down and close out this chapter of our lives. I've been blogging now since September 2005, right after we submitted our adoption application. When you're a resident of Blogville for three and a half years, it kind of becomes part of your life and it's hard to let go. Does this sound strange or do other Blogville residents get this? For now, I've decided to keep the blog up and try to update at least once a week. We'll see how it goes and how I feel once I get settled back in at work.

Last week at home...

When I wake up in the morning I start the week I've been dreading since we brought Lauren home. It's my last week of maternity leave and I have so many mixed emotions about it.

After being with Lauren pretty much 24/7 for the past four months, I can't imagine not being with her during the day. I'm going back to work full-time and with my schedule I leave the house by 6:15am and don't get home until 5:45pm. That's a LONG time away from her! Joe will be at home playing Mr. Mom until he finds a new job, which makes me feel much better about going back. We already have a daycare picked out, so when the time comes we can enroll her. I may even check into having her go there one day a week to see how she does.

Part of me is looking forward to getting back to work. I've really missed the people there and the social aspect of going into the office every day. I've worked for the same employer (a local government) for 22 years so it feels like home to me. The other part of me wants to be here in the morning when Little Miss wakes up and cries out, I want to be here when she's ready to snuggle in for her nap, and I want to laugh and play with her during the day. She is constantly learning and picking up things everyday and I don't want to miss a minute of it!

I also worry about Lauren's adjustment to not having me around. She's already been through a major change in her life and I keep worrying that she'll think I left her. Even with Joe here, I worry that she will need me and I won't be here.

That first day driving into work is going to be HARD and I'm sure the tears will be flowing, just as they are now even thinking about it. I know there are many of you out there who have had to take this first drive back to work. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Here's a few pics from over the past few days...







Also, I'm just wrapping up my first blog makeover for Dawn, who won a new header. Her blog is for invited readers only, but if you have access you can see it here.

Drumroll, please....

I had Joe draw the names since Little Miss is napping...

After I took this pic, I thought of "Thing" from The Adams Family (wasn't that the hand from the show?)...


and the winners of a new blog header created just for you are...


If you are a winner, please e-mail me here and let me know the following:

What colors would you like?
What style do you like?
Do you have photos you would like to incorporate?
Is your header going to "float" on a white background (like mine above)?
What text would you like on the header (your blog name plus any other text)?
Is your blog set-up in the new Blogger format (elements style)?

I'm looking forward to hearing from you all!