Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Crazy!

This graphic sums up how I've been feeling lately.

Between the stress at my office right now, not knowing if we'll see our daughters face in a couple of weeks or a couple of months and the China baby formula problem, I'm just about ready to tear my hair out! I've been stressed and SOOO emotional this week.

Just in case you're out of the loop on the baby formula situation, let me give you the Reader's Digest version of what's going on...some people decided it would be a great idea to water down milk with a dangerous chemical called melamine...yes, the stuff that's in plastic. This allows them to stretch out their supply of milk and causes a false high protein level when the milk goes through inspection. This milk has been used to make baby formula and distributed throughout China (yes, including orphanages) to feed babies. The melamine causes kidney stones and kidney failure, among other things. What kind of sickos would put babies in danger like this. I can only imagine what the parents in China are going through right now...not even knowing for sure what is safe to feed their babies. The thought of our daughter being feed a dangerous chemical for an unknown amount of time makes me sick to think about.

So far, the early rumors on referrals aren't good. Supposedly the CCAA may be checking into what type of formula the orphanages have been using, which may effect the number of referrals they kick out. At this point, we don't know what will happen. We don't know if they will continue to refer babies from orphanages using the tainted formula or not. Certainly if they don't that will more than likely decrease the number of referrals since the number of available children would drop.

I always thought the end of this journey right before referral would be happy and exciting...looking forward to seeing our daughter for the first time. Instead I'm feeling anxiety, stress and sadness.

I don't want to be a downer, but I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

18 comments:

Cupcakes and Hairbows said...

Isn't the 31 just unbelievable? I just can't imagine - and think that you are so close, to think of the folks who are a year or more behind you all! It will be decades for them - seriously... I'm so excited for you all - I check in occasionally! Your reward awaits you - and it will be amazing.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I'm so sorry for y'all who are so close to referral (or are waiting to travel!), having to deal with this added stress.

Did you see the Love Without Boundaries blog post about the formula crisis -- you can find it at:

http://lwbblog.com/?p=838

I know that isn't much, but it might offer some small comfort. I wish I could offer more.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Keep your chin up girlie... You are almost there... Don't get tooo stressed out you can make yourself sick...
We are all here for you..
You will have Lauren soon..
Hugs to you..

PIPO said...

I understand completely how you are feeling. Hugs.

Michelle said...

God, this is just awful. I have been reading everything I can find on it. I know everyone like yourself who are so close must be thinking "Are you kidding me? What next?" I'm so sorry and you will be in my thoughts.

Cora said...

The light might be a little dim but it is still there. Hang in there, I wish there was something to say to make easier.
Keeping those sick babies in our thoughts and hope this is all resolved quickly.

Christie said...

SOB, SOB, SOB...

I'm right there with you

sigh...sending a hug

rubyiscoming said...

we are completely numb about all of this. i agree, i thought that the last few weeks of referral time were going to blissful and exciting - this is scary!

Shannon said...

I can't imagine how stressed out you must be. To be this close and just NOT KNOW what is going on. I send you a hug. Hang in there. It WILL happen. :-)

Lisa and Tate said...

Huge hugs..... I keep telling myself that things will be just fine..... I do know it is hard!

Carol said...

Oh my, it just never ends...

You will get her picture and then the wait from there gets WORSE....it's hard to sit and stare at that little face and wait for TA!!!

Hugs!!!!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Another update on the baby formula crisis from Love Without Boundaries:

http://lwbblog.com/?p=922

I know that several orphanages in Jiangxi use the Hero brand (including the Tonggu SWI). That brand has NOT been recalled.

Ladybugsmom said...

Donna,
If it wasn't this it would be something else...put all this out of your mind and enjoy antipating these last few weeks/months so that when Lauren ask someday you can say how joyous it was regardless. Don't get me wrong it is not all rosy and wonderful, but this is your pregnancy and delivery so do your best to enjoy and see that all this plays into what child ultimately becomes your daughter. You know our situation pretty well and maybe not everyone would see this as I do, but my focus was on this is our daughers birth into our family and no matter what, it is going to be joyous and anticipated and good. Hang in there.
Emily

Billy and Maggie said...

Im totally there with you Donna! We are so dern close but yet it seems like its just slipping away further and further. Hang in there...we're going to be laughing about this when we meet in China.

Janet said...

I'm so sorry, Donna.

Made in China said...

Sorry to hear things are so stressful for you right now.

Have some chocolate - it'll make you feel better! Works for me!! :o)

Carol said...

Hmmmm I just read rq...you must be just plain over the edge now.....I know people told us to enjoy the last month without the baby, do all those movie nights and stuff, but we couldn't, our minds were in China.....I'm sure you are the same.......hugs...I hope you can keep busy this weekend thinking of something else so the time flys by.......

Catherine said...

BIG (((hugs))) sweetie! Such a tough, tough time!

The latest rumours are more positive than they were Wednesday and are also indicating that referrals may be mailed before next weeks holiday. Hopefully you have answers sooner rather than later.

Praying for you. Catherine