Thursday, September 28, 2006

Wow, it passed without notice...

Huh, I didn't even notice that our 7th month anniversary of our LID passed right on by last week. I've been so busy, I didn't even notice. I usually have it on my mind each month around the 17th.

When we first submitted our adoption application back in August of last year, this is right about the time we would have received our referral if they would have stayed on track with 6-8 months. Last Christmas (like many of you) we celebrated our final Christmas without a child. I was SO excited back then knowing that next Christmas we would have Lauren here with us...it was going to be SO special. We hung ornaments on the tree just for her and just knew that next Christmas we would be wrapping presents for her.

Now we are looking at getting our referral sometime around next June and I still haven't fully accepted the fact that another Christmas will come and go without Lauren. Everytime I think about it, I start to tear up and quickly try to direct my thoughts to something else (as I am doing right now). I'm sure many of you have been having the very same feelings and I know I'm not alone, which is very comforting to me. I'm so thankful for my waiting momma friends.

Now if only I could figure out a way to accept that we still have a long wait ahead so I can move on and enjoy the upcoming holidays, even without Lauren by our side.

20 comments:

Laura and Dan said...

Hi Donna, now that we are in each other's circle of friends, we can plan lots of fun stuff to keep busy! I have always wanted to try indoor rock climbing, learn to sew and study interior design. Let me know if you're game for any of those ventures. We missed you at the WF meeting, I hpoe you had a ball in PA. Keep a good thought! :) Laura

Janet said...

Hi Donna,

It must be hard to think of this Christmas without your little girl, but remember that she is somewhere out there, waiting for you! One day you will hold her in your arms and be so thankful that you had to wait that extra time- for HER, that special girl that was meant to be with you! I pray that all will go well with you and that you will be able to have peace with your wait. It is SO hard!

Wishing you all the best,
Janet T.

Robin said...

Here's hoping the wait doesn't get any longer. Better yet - it starts getting shorter. (a girl can dream) We are thinking that with the current waits, it will be 2008 before we see a referral. UGH. My DH will be 50 by then.

Doris & Dan Clark said...

I hear ya! Those Xmas thoughts have been creeping in my head and I keep pushing them away.

It is hard.

Keep smilin!

Elise said...

Keeping busy will help...just like your 7th month anniversary slipped by. I definately need to do that! I am looking at the possibility of two Christmas' without our Grace:(
I say, "Buy her lots of presents"...shopping always helps me!

Emily said...

Oh Donna,
You took the words out of my mouth like you so often do. We are thinking of just getting out of dodge. If it wasn't for the "furr babies" we would have no doubts of just taking a few days and getting away. I had an idea...have a bunch of waiting families meet up in Colorado or some nice "wintry" place and celebrate our last Christmas w/o our children. Hang in there...we will become "Mommies" and before we know it all this free time will just be a dream. Take care.
Emily in TN

Christie B. said...

Girl, I am feeling the pang too...

Another Christmas without Keira...(sob). I can hardly stand it - but what choice do we have?

Chin up buttercup - that's why we're all here - to get through the crappy times together.

Big Hug!

Jacquie said...

I totally know how you feel. It's just crappy. If we can get you over the hump, believe me, it does get easier when you're on the other side going downhill instead of uphill. It's just getting there. Ugh. Just keep trying to have fun like you've been doing. And try and keep your chin up and know you're not alone.

Michelle said...

I'm sorry. That sucks. Christmas is hard enough on those of us without children anyway. This truly will be your last Christmas without your baby. Try to hold on to that.

Lisa and Tate said...

I have been doing the exact same thing.... NEXT YEAR!!! But really, next year we will have our precious little bundles of Chinese cuteness to hug and hold and snuggle and and and .....

Lisa

Colleen said...

Oh yes - you said it! I remember decorating the tree with some special ornaments for her - then more important I remember taking them down - putting everything away and saying - whoo-hoo next year she will help us decorate the tree! Good god is this horrible or what? Its sad that my Mom has to say - "well at least by NEXT Xmas you know she will really be here".... do I?

Donna said...

The wait can be awful at times, no doubt about it. I know it's a total cliche (and not especially comforting when you've still got awhile to go) but the wait will mean nothing once you have Lauren.

Heather said...

The wait is awful! Awful, awful, awful! But also well worth it...

Melissa said...

Thinking of you Donna! I can't even get myself to be excited about fall and I usually love it. I just keep saying. "mabe next weekend I will decortate!" I know this CHristams will be difficult for all of us not having our girls home but our time is coming! Hang in there!

Melissa

Kim M. said...

Happy 7 months girlfriend! We are getting closer! Hang in there My Precious Panda!

Made in China said...

Happy belated 7-month LID!!

Julie

Dawn and Dale said...

Happy 7 mths!! (Almost 8 now!! lol)

I cried reading your post tonight. It must be so hard for you to think of Christmas without Lauren. It's what makes Christmas fun!

I know once she is home though, every second and every moment will be just like Christmas morning for you!!

Kim M. said...

Donna I've been thinking of you. I hope you are feeling okay. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. It does seem a little hopeless at times. Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts!

Eliza2006 said...

Donna,
The wait is so difficult. I felt so depressed around my 6-7 month mark. I think it was because, like you said, I should have been getting my referral. Hang in there. This might make you want to punch me, but...it really is worth all of the pain and tears! Take care!

Tiffany

Kim said...

Donna,
I know it feels like time is moving so slowly and no headway is being made on referrals, but your is coming. You will be getting the perfect little one for you, good things take time, sometimes a long time. Ugh. You are in our thoughts.