We have been logged in for six months today, so if things don't slow down any further we're at the half-way point to referral...woohoo!! This month is also our one year anniversary of submitting our application to adopt from China.
I can remember watching National Geographic's China's Lost Girls last July and thinking about all those abandoned children and that maybe one of those children could be our daughter. Over the last year, each day seemed to tick by oh so slowly, but overall it seems like just a flash and here we are now. It's funny how that happens.
I'm thinking that this six month mark might give us the motivation to get our projects done at home so we can move onto putting together the nursery. I've been wanting to paint and redecorate our master bedroom and bath, then clear out our junk room before starting the nursery. Usually I'm right on top of any kind of redecorating project with no procrastination, but for some reason I just haven't been moving forward with these projects.
Lately, I've been thinking that maybe subconsciously I'm afraid to move forward for fear of actually getting everything done and being ready to do the nursery. There's something about getting the nursery together that scares me a little....like if the nursery is done, we're going too far and what if something happens with the adoption. I know it's not practical to wait until we get our referral to do everything, but it seems like it's still not "real" enough to proceed.
Has anyone else been stuck at this same point? If so, how did you get past it? Any words of wisdom from Blogville?
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23 comments:
Donna - I understand your feelings completely with your holding back on the nursery. Why? I used to be that way. I wanted cold, hard facts before moving ahead.
Now, I am completely different. I have chosen to believe that nothing will prevent my daughter's coming home ...only the frustration of lengthening waits. My daughter WILL come. That in mind, doing things for her preparations has kept me so at peace.
For me, I guess I'm placing a LOT in faith. It works some days better than others but I'm getting there all the same.
Don't be too hesitant to enjoy some preparations during the wait. It can feel so good.
Hi Donna, congrats on reaching the half-way mark! This is going to happen for you and Joe, just continue the faith like Connie says above.
I do know how you feel though to reach a point where you aren't ready to move forward with the nursery. My mother keeps asking me when I'm going to start the mural and I've been delaying for 2 months. I finally started working on another aspect of the nursery that I was going to postpone till later. Will changing your focus and just picking a small project in the nursery get you going again? Usually one thing leads to another and hopefully you will be back on track again soon.
I can so relate. When women are pregnant they can see and feel the baby coming...we are totally going by faith within a system that has been so precarious this year. I was going through it again today...is this really going to happen? It is and we have to dig in and get ready!!
Congrats on the 6 month anniversary!!! Let's hope it is half way!!! I keep putting off all the projects and have thought of the same reason!! You are so right in saying that time seems so long yet so quickly!!! Lets get our projects done!!!
Hugs
Lisa
Licks and snuggles
Mesa
Yippe you are half way there. Keep the faith! I understand you hesitation to get her room ready. It will happen for you! Your little girl will come home.
I SO understand how you feel!! I haven't done much on the nursery either, because part of me thinks, what if i do this and they don't give me a baby? or worse yet, what if i do this it takes another year to put a kid in there?!!? The wait is making me lose my mind, that is for sure.
Congrats on 6 months! Hopefully the next 6 will fly right by for you!
I have no words of wisdom for you on the nursery dilemma. I can tell you this, when I was pregnant with my daughter I kept putting off getting her nursery done...until she actually came and it wasn't done. Now she's 16 months and we're just starting to get to it! Don't put it off too long! :) Plus it'll be fun for you to be actually doing something for Lauren..cuz you are going to get her. It may be 6 months from now, it may be a year from now -but you will have your sweet Laurent-I'm sure of that.
I'm that way with clothes even though I keep telling myself it's because I can't afford to have a bunch of wrong sizes. It's been good reading eveyone's words of wisdom. Happy 6 Months! And let's meet up at the White Swan somewhat *early* next year, ok?! =)
Happy 6 months!!! Another month down!
If it makes you feel any better, I am beginning to convert baby Westons room into her room while he is still in it! Just have the fever to do something about this adoption on my own....poor little Weston.
Congrats on 6 months! We just had our 1 year from LID August 5. The day slipped by and I FORGOT!!! It was a pretty depressing anniv. anyway, so forgetting was okay with me. We HAVE NOT started the nursery. Instead we are re-doing the I-171. We have gotten a lot of other home projects done instead. My office is in the nursery now and we are moving it to the basement which is in the process of being finished off. So its kind of impossible to start the nursery. I figure we have a good 3-4 months before we will travel at the least. I have faith it will get done, but am happy I have not been able to "jinx" myself. Too many past baby disappointments. I have a feeling I will wait for referral or close to it and then start. I know - not recommended, but I am really uncomfortable starting it otherwise. I guess on the otherhand it would make the adoption feel more "real??"
Good luck!
Katie
years ago you didn't put up your crib or buy much for the baby so you didn't jinx anything...you were always happy but still cautious. so what you'r feeling is the samethng other people have always felt. needing to be sure that everything is ok before going on with life. don't worry, you'll have everything ready when you need too. and i'm sure it will be beautiful..
The early part of next year will be a great time to travel to China. Temps are not too hot, in some areas it will still be cold. We went in March and it was perfect.
It is surprising but the time really does flash by when you're not watching it. That's how our wait time was. I actually was flabbergasted when I got our call and anticipated an additional month to finish up our projects. In fact, poor Charlotte's nursery never did get painted. Just plain ran out of time. :)
Happy 6 months!
Congrats on being 6 months in! It was at about 6 months that we started doing all of these projects too.
Don't worry that you will jinx things by doing the nursery. It WILL happen.
I think your blog is very dark and it feels like a blog about such a wonderful thing as adoption should be light and happy :)
Jenna,
When you say "dark", I'm assuming you are referring to the look of my blog with the black background and header. As far as content goes, it's filled with fun stuff like get togethers with bloggy friends, family, our fur babies, gift exchanges, good wishes pages, fun clothes and stuff for the nursery, etc.
Donna :)
Congrats on 6 mths!! My whole family can totally relate and i for one can speak for all of us when i tell you how on edge all of us have been lately..its just getting to the point where i just want to disconnect myself from the world just to avoid someone asking me "when r u goin 2 get that baby"..i mean its nice but give me a break...it just gets old...ok that made me feel better getting it all out.lol..
LID 8/11
I can so relate! My LID is 3/21 and I cannot bring myself to do anything to prepare. My fear is that the wait will extend to two years, and it would be so depressing walking past a fully decorated nursery month after month. I'm thinking I'll wait until referral and have a more scaled-down nursery. Meanwhile, I may paint a small bookcase or do some other small projects for the baby, small enough to be tucked out of sight if things get remain iffy.
Best of luck in whatever you decide!
patti
http://redvelvetcake.typepad.com
donna and joe: Yes, I meant that it would be nice if it had more light colors :) It's a great blog and you wright about so many fun stuff, it's not that :)
I meant: so many fun things, of course :S
Hi Jenna,
That's what I thought you meant, and it's funny that you mention it because I've been working on a new design over the weekend. I like to change every so often. I'm afraid the colors are still on the darker side, but at least not black anymore.
Donna ;)
Happy 6th Months! That is so exciting to think that you will be half way there!
I know EXACTLY how you feel about not wanting to work on the nursery. We sold the bedroom set in the room that will be the nursery, but that is as far as it goes. I now have an empty room that is just waiting, like everything else seems to be right not. I am nervous to start it. I too, feel that if I do something will happen.
I'm thinking now to wait until Christmas break and then start. I don't know?!?!
Good luck with your decision!
Donna,
I am so with you on the nursery. I think after so many disappointments along the road to family building...and now this LONG wait it just really makes me fearful at times that it WILL happen. I just don't know how it would be to have a finished room for months and months and no child. I think come December I will feel better about doing something.
I know what you mean. I want to do things but I don't want to get too far ahead and then be waiting with a full yet empty nursery.
Happy 6 months!
Keep smilin!
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