Today marks 17 months of waiting for Lauren.
I've had this general feeling of yuckiness over the past couple of days, then I realized the date on the calendar and figured it's that darn adoption roller coaster again. It seems when we first got on this ride, it was kind of like a kiddie coaster with only a couple of small ups and downs. As the months go by, the coaster seems to get bigger and bigger with stomach churning hills and upside down loops. Each month I feel like we climb to the top of a big hill and then referrals come out with a measly amount of days matched and then we pass another LIDversary...leaving us at the bottom of the hill starting the monthly climb back to the top for the next plunge.
This afternoon at the office, someone asked why I seemed a little down and not myself and I answered with "this wait is just getting to me lately". They responding with "what wait?" At that point it really hit me how all encompassing this adoption waiting is and how it's become the center of my universe. I can't wait until we are able to just look back on this time and have it feel like just a blip on the radar screen.
Sorry for the whine session, but just had to get it out there. I know my fellow waiting mommas understand.