Monday, October 01, 2007

Someone asked a good question...

in the comments of my last post. I'll paraphrase below:

"...I have one question. What happens if you get a boy? I mean, you have already chosen a name for a girl and bought clothes for a girl and so on. I´m asking because a dear friend of mine got a baby boy from China even though she had asked for a girl. But there was nothing she could to. China said "take this boy or no child at all".

Back in 2005 when we first started checking into China adoption and had spoken to our agency, it was apparent that orphanages in China were filled with baby girls and that's what we would get. We wanted a girl, so it was a great fit for us. We submitted our adoption application and went through our home study with no mention of getting anything other than a girl, so the thought of a boy never really entered our minds. Back then the wait was still 6-8 months, so as soon as we were LID we selected a name and started shopping...just as if we were pregnant and the ultrasound revealed a girl.

Last year we discovered the reality that some families who expect girls are actually referred boys. Since our agency hasn't received a "surprise" boy referral yet and I believe the odds to be low, we decided to just assume we'll be referred a girl for now as many families are doing.

What will happen if we receive a boy referral? I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. What I do know right now is that Joe and I have a LOT of love to give a child and we can't wait to be parents. At this point, I would feel blessed to simply receive a referral.

13 comments:

Michelle said...

This topic came up at our house just last week, as my husband had no idea that being referred a boy was a possibility at all. I set him straight, and we both agreed that it doesn't really matter what sex the child is. We want to be parents and that's all that matters. We would handle it the same way we would handle it if our ultrasound revealed it was a girl, but it was a boy when the child was born(this happened to a friend of mine). Ultrasounds aren't completely accurate either. We would do some quick redecorating, and a lot of last minute shopping for clothes and accept things the way they happened.

Somewhere In The Sun said...

I think it is a testiment to your heart that you are even posting about this. You are obviously ready to be a parent. Period. No matter what.

I have boys and girls. I can tell you that both are awesome! You will be blessed either way. Your attitude is admirable! I can't wait to see the child that God has planned for your family!

i-Con said...

I'm with you. I would grieve for some moments about the girl I have anticipated but then I would celebrate my son. (and paint...a lot ;0)

Julianne said...

Great answer Donna! We were asked this several times during our wait as well. Like you, we wanted to be parents, and whatever child God decided to bless us with would be just that...a blessing. I've followed your blog for a long time and I keep praying things speed up for you! We were told 6-8 months when we were logged in on 10/31/05. We just came home with our Lily on 7/20/07! Hang in there...it will happen.

Julianne:o)
lookingforlily.blogspot.com

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Amen! wonderful post. :0)

OziMum said...

Hehehe! We're in the same boat! On our application we have either boy or girl, but our social worker has approved us for a girl? So I'm guessing the chances of a boy would be pretty slim?! If we're allocated a son! Woo Hoo! I'll have alot to sell on ebay!!!

Janet said...

I would be thrilled with both! Of course, we THINK we're getting a girl, so all the girly stuff will be done. But if we get a boy, I'll just be repainting a room.....:-)

Lisa and Tate said...

Great answer to this question. As you know, getting a referral for a boy is really rare. You and Joe really do have a lot of love to give as a momma and daddy.

Hugs
Lisa

Christie said...

Amen to that sista! AB and I agreed that the referral we get, is the referral we get. Trusting that God has the best plan possible for our family, and relaxing in that is half the battle. Now, parting with my pink nursery and multitude of pink dresses will be a whole other issue if we get referred a son - but I'm holding out for the odds, which say GIRL!

Hugs!

Liene said...

We requested a girl because we already have our boy and if God doesn't believe that we're supposed to adopt again at least we have a boy and a girl.

So far I have never heard of anyone from our agency being referred a boy after asking for a girl only. The boys that families have received is because they asked for a boy or a girl and were referred a boy.

But if for some odd reason we are referred a boy then so be it. We do have another boy name picked out and have since our son was born. We picked out two names because we weren't really sure what he was going to look like and after his birth mother had him, we went to the hospital and took one look at him and knew exactly which name was going to fit. So we have the other one in "reserve" if another boy should come along.

PromiseKeepersDaughter said...

WOW.....That is some heavy thinkin right there....I hadn't really given it much thought.....I didn't think there was a reason to but perhaps there is.

Shannon said...

Donna

It does not matter whether you get a boy or a girl. You want to be a mother and we can all tell and see the love in your heart that you will have for the child regardless.

When I first found out I was pregnant I ALWAYS wanted a girl....that was until I found out it was twins and then I prayed and prayed for boys. ( I was scared for jeffrey if it was twin girls with the overload of too much estrogen :) However I still would love a little girl. I love my boys with all my heart. but I still someday would love to have a little girl.

You will be a wonderful mother regardless if it is a boy or girl. You have So much love in your heart already.

P.S if you were to get a boy referral Jack and Palmer have BOXES of clothes coming your way!!! No need to buy any clothes!!!

P.S.S You should have palnned your Disney trip a few weeks later!! We leave Monday for 9 days in Disney!!!

Carol said...

We have two wonderful boys. This will be our first and last adoption from China..we don't meet the new requirements. We asked for a girl. We leave in 5 days to pick her up! Our boys are already trying to spoil her. She gets a toy every store we go to and we don't even have her yet! I just think it's great that she will always have two older brothers to look out for her.
PS, no surprises at our agency either. One couple did ask for either and received a boy.