Sunday, February 08, 2009

The dreaded question...

Here's the scene...we are at the children's play area at a nearby mall and the women sitting next to me leaned over and asked..."is that your granddaughter?" Ughh...dagger right through the heart! I was expecting my first question to be "is she adopted?" or some other equally nosy question...but this one caught me off guard. After she left, the young mom on the other side of me said she overheard her and couldn't believe she asked me that. Ahhhh...that made me feel much better! I know I'm an older mom, but I just wasn't expecting this and I hope it's not a frequently asked question when we go out...I don't think I look THAT old!

Yesterday we took Lauren to Toys R Us to find some kind of push toy she can ride on. We got this cute little FisherPrice horse with a little basket in front to carry stuff along for the ride. She didn't know how to push her self at first, but it only took a couple of minutes for her to figure it out...




This evening we spent some time at my brother's place and Lauren actually warmed up to everyone and played with her cousins for the very first time. It was so much fun to watch!




35 comments:

Natalie said...

Don't worry about the comment. People don't think before they speak. You are beautiful and you do not look old at all. Let them say what they will. You know that you are young, peppy(you have to be to chase after a little one, wise and patient.
I love the pictures of Lauren with her cousins. What fun! She has a delightful smile and we can see what a good time she is having.
You are awesome parents as evidenced by the happy, little Lauren. Good job.
Hugs

Jodee Leader said...

You poor thing! I can't believe someone would ask you that. You don't look like a Grandma to me!

I love these pictures of Lauren. She looks soooo happy!

Jboo said...

I hate that question too and have gotten it myself being an older mom -- even got it from a coworker! People don't think before they open their mouths! You three make the perfecct family!

Janet

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Oh Good Grief! You don't look like her Grandmother!! I agree with the other comment...people just don't think before they speak.
Love Lauren's little horse. She looks so sweet.

~Lynn

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Whatever... you don't even look close to being a Grandmother..
She must need glasses or something..
Anyway.. LOVE the pictures..
Looks like Lauren is coming around..
I love the picture of Lauren getting kissed..
TOO CUTE>..
Have a great week..
Hugs..

Katie said...

She was prob. too dense to figure out that she actually was adopted - and couldn't figure out why you are Caucasian and Lauren is Asian - so she went with the generation difference to explain it. And then she had to go and ask since you look so young.
Ridiculous. Why do people have to ask? Why do they have to know what is none of their business. It must be human nature. Still - unbelievable. You don't even come close to looking like a grandmother. I have developed a habit of avoiding eye contact with all nosy looking Nellies. I don't even think about it anymore. It is just second nature.

Anne said...

I've been asked that too. Ugg...Some people just don't think.
Lauren looks so happy and sweet!

MeiLi's Adoption Journey said...

Love Lauren's smile. She looks so happy!!! I won't even comment on the Grandmother thing, so ridiculous some people!

Anonymous said...

first of all you sooo DO NOT look old enough to be her grandma. bah humbug! i got this comment a few times when i was first home with dd#1. infuriated me! i also don't think i looked old enough to get asked that. i finally have a comeback "so exactly how old are you saying i look?", but luckily i haven't been asked that in several years.

lauren is beautiful and looks so full of live and love. gorgeous family.

toni

Kristy said...

NO you look great!!!! And your family is beautiful!!!

Love, Kristy

Trudi said...

it's just a comment from someone blabbing away. Let it slide off your back and don't give it any attention at all. Your family is gorgeous!

Ladybugsmom said...

Oh Donna,
I had the same question like 4 seconds after returning home. The lady who asked looked like a fossil, so I really discounted the whole deal...the way I look at it is this for some odd reason people feel that nothing is sacred and ask anything...sometimes I just let it go in and out and other times I educate them...all of it is good. You are beautiful...and Lauren is just so cute.
Emily

Janet said...

Your GRANDDAUGHTER? UGh. WHat a thing to say!

Cora said...

It just goes to show you can never predict the things that people will ask.
Lauren is just too cute! I love seeing her laugh great pictures.

Mya said...

Donna Dear, you don't look like no grandma! My friend had this happen to her before! And she told the woman at Target "not everyone has children at 16"! She's a hoot, but so true, women become grandmothers really early these days! Some people are just...so ignorant! Brush it off, you have the prettiest little girl and she looks oh so cute on her little toy!

Lauren's Cousin said...

You don't look like a grandma at all to me!

By the way, LOVE Lauren's wiener dog sweater! It's so cute!

~Emily

Diana said...

I have been ask that before also and you do just want to SMACK the person but you just smile and say NO, I am the mom.
I agree with what Mya above said..not everyone has kids when they are teenagers. Give us Moms a break!!!

PIPO said...

Ugh! I am dreading that moment too. I have to think of a sage comeback.

Love the photos. LOOK at that beautiful smile on your girl.

Julie said...

Chock it up to ignorance. More people are having kids later these days and how people don't notice or know that, and be nosy, is beyond me.

By the way GREAT TASTE! Tess has the same hoodie dress!

Made in China said...

Some people are just stupid and RUDE!!!

Carol and Taylor said...

Damned busybodies. I got that Q, too, while playing in the park. Upside is that once L starts talking more and saying "Mama" every 2 seconds, this idiot Q ceases. But never fear...new ones will begin!

We're digging L's sweet, new ride. Looks fun.

potandkettle said...

Some people are just tactless. It's the first of many, but now you're prepared for anything. Someone once asked me, "does your husband know?" I asked, "Know what?" They replied, "That she's, you know..." "Oh, Chinese? Yeah. He knows, but he won't let me go eat there any more." :)

Love.Love.Love. her smiles!! (and her new ride)

Bobby said...

I think we’ve all gotten a rude question or two. But the one that surprised me was when the owner of a Chinese restaurant asked me if my little girl was Chinese. I told him no, she’s Vietnamese. His look of horror shocked me. He quickly excused himself and move away. I totally didn’t understand that one. Heck, with all my gray hairs I can see why a bi-focal wearing – bad excuse for an NFL Referee could mistake me for my kids grandfather; I mean people make mistakes, right!

Lori said...

HI,

You are younger than I am -46 (I am waiting for my referral). And sister we are NOT old. I like to think I earned my laugh lines from all the fun I've had (and to my future ones). In the south we southern ladies have a little kiss off saying..."Bless your heart". And that is what I would say to that woman...bless her heart-she doesn't know how rude she was...or bless her heart she needs glasses!
Otherwise I might of had to smack her up side the head!

Don't worry about the stupid questions or people, they are not worth your time.

KHM said...

Oh yea - I have gotten that line too. And of course I could be.


The correct response is - No, she is ALL MINE.

Ava Baby said...

Ouch! You DON'T look like a grandma. There are many people who speak without thinking and you're going to find this even when they're asking about Lauren being adopted. :)
Can't wait to meet Lauren on Saturday! Michele

Shelley said...

Hopefully your response made the woman realize how ignorant she was so she doesn't do it again. But that's her problem. And no, you don't look old. She's just clueless.

Lauren sure looks like she is taking over. She just charms everyone, doesn't she? What a cutie pie.

Doreen said...

never mind the dumb commenT That should be the worst you get! Let's discuss that Lauren!!!! Is she not the cutest happiest little girl!!!Ignore the stuff people say...they just can't help themselves...it's like a button goes off in their heads (the tactless one next to the "I have a big mouth" button on the right side of the brain).Grandmother...pluleeze!
Doreen in Montreal single mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan

Scott and Kim said...

Maybe this person was half asleep... there is NO way that you look old enough to be a grandma Donna!! Lucky Lauren has two awesome parents and two lucky parents have a beautiful daughter. Love the pictures and the update!! Can't wait to see you soon.

hiltonsheadeast said...

It's so good to see Lauren opening up more and more. She is adorable and looks so happy! I cannot wait to meet her in person. Take care grandma and grandpa. Hehehehehe What a stupid comment! I get it all the time but I should ...I really am a grandma. Hehehehe

Hugs,
Lori**

amyinbc said...

Perhaps this woman comes from a family where kids come EARLY in a woman's life. I knew a woman who was a Grandma at THIRTY THREE! Unimaginable in our family. But not so strange to some.

Stupid comments; congratulations and welcome to motherhood ;) You are now a target for the most personal/rude/unwarranted comments from strangers. Unfortunately I am somewhat serious..

Great shots of Lauren with her cousins, this has to warm your heart :)

Reneeks@gmail.com said...

Hate to say this, but it's gonna happen. We live in the part of the country where being a grandmother in your early 40's is common. While having a pedicure last week, the girl doing my toes saw my daughters picture, and told me (loudly) that I was "soooo oooold" to have a daughter that young. "Thanks, thanks alot", I said! People definetly don't think.
Lauren looks like she is doing great.

Anonymous said...

Probably not a function of your looks at all. Most likely the woman was trying to figure how a white woman came to be with an Asian child, but wasn't sufficiently informed about adoption as a way of growing a family. Excuse her ignorance and lack of sensitivity. But some people just don't know how to be diplomatic. I've heard perfect strangers blurt out questions such as - "How come you have twins? Was it IVF?"

amyinbc said...

Agree with Anon above. Having had twins the questions I got.. oy. And the cruelty inflicted on my 4 year old son those first few years, too sad. He was either invisible or labeled 'Mom's Helper'. Uhh NO. He is 4 years old and as cherished as the other two thank you very much. Some people have no idea how out of line their comments are. Get used to it! Apparently the act of mothering a child makes you fare game for stupid comments.

Enlighten them and set them in their place!

Catherine said...

You look amazing and she should not have asked that question!

I was asked the same thing yesterday when we were at gymnastics. 'Are you their Grandmother?' meading Ro and Ree? Whaaat? Not already!

Fun times with the family! check out those smiles!!