Sunday, May 03, 2009

Last week at home...

When I wake up in the morning I start the week I've been dreading since we brought Lauren home. It's my last week of maternity leave and I have so many mixed emotions about it.

After being with Lauren pretty much 24/7 for the past four months, I can't imagine not being with her during the day. I'm going back to work full-time and with my schedule I leave the house by 6:15am and don't get home until 5:45pm. That's a LONG time away from her! Joe will be at home playing Mr. Mom until he finds a new job, which makes me feel much better about going back. We already have a daycare picked out, so when the time comes we can enroll her. I may even check into having her go there one day a week to see how she does.

Part of me is looking forward to getting back to work. I've really missed the people there and the social aspect of going into the office every day. I've worked for the same employer (a local government) for 22 years so it feels like home to me. The other part of me wants to be here in the morning when Little Miss wakes up and cries out, I want to be here when she's ready to snuggle in for her nap, and I want to laugh and play with her during the day. She is constantly learning and picking up things everyday and I don't want to miss a minute of it!

I also worry about Lauren's adjustment to not having me around. She's already been through a major change in her life and I keep worrying that she'll think I left her. Even with Joe here, I worry that she will need me and I won't be here.

That first day driving into work is going to be HARD and I'm sure the tears will be flowing, just as they are now even thinking about it. I know there are many of you out there who have had to take this first drive back to work. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Here's a few pics from over the past few days...

Also, I'm just wrapping up my first blog makeover for Dawn, who won a new header. Her blog is for invited readers only, but if you have access you can see it here.


OziMum said...

Lauren is looking so grown up!!! She looks so happy and secure. I hope that your return to work transition goes well - which I think it will, with Daddy being at home.

PS love the kangaroo backpack!

Anonymous said...

It is hard at first. I totally remember going back. But, it just becomes routine. And your husband is home so she will transition well.

Colleen said...

She is so cute. I think enrolling her in day care one day a week while Joe is looking for work is a great idea, and I'd extend that to two days, then three. This will give you and Joe some comfort knowing that if there is a problem one of you is easily available.

Also, when I worked for the schools, the worst day of the year was always the first day of school. Why? Because it was sometimes so hard to get the parents of the kindergarten students to leave! The kids who had a hard time were the kids whose parents watched through the window while their child cried,and they also stopped crying once the parents did leave. Remember: If you're not okay, she won't be either. Maybe you and Joe should have taken an acting class while off ;). Talk it up like it's going to be the most fun thing. It is going to be tough but I think graduating her into it is the best way to go. Take her for an hour, go pick her up. Take her for two hours, pick her up. Four. Eight. Let her experience you always returning.

My two cents. Okay, four cents given the economy ;).

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it's going to be hard going back to work, my heart goes out to you. But what a blessing it is that Joe gets to be homw with her. Hopefully that will be a comfort to you and her. I have one question...does Lauren EVER wear the same outfit twice???? Only kidding! She always looks so adorable. Thank God you don't live in Florida, we'd be shopping all the time, I love to buy the kids clothes!! Have a great week, I'll pray that it goes slowly.

Jboo said...

Great photos! It is so hard to go back to work after being home, I feel for you. Take it easy and enjoy your last week!


Dawn and Dale said...

Oh my goodness!! Your heart must be full of such mixed emotions this week!!! I can't even imagine!!

I too would feel so much better knowing that my child gets to be with daddy all day though!! Their bond will grow even more I'm sure!!

I'll be praying for all of you and the big changes that are coming your way!

THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH for the beautiful new blog you've made me!!! I'm so loving it!!!!!! :D

Ladybugsmom said...

The anticipation of going back to work was the hardest and then maybe the first few weeks...I found if I was okay Ellie Lu was okay if that makes sense...she reacted based on my reaction...good luck...personally I love being able to work and be a Mom I think it makes me better at both.

Anne said...

My heart really goes out to you, it is soo hard, but I know you will both be fine. That's great that Daddy is able to stay home with her for now. Love the pictures. She is looking so happy and she is such a beautiful girl!

AJ's Mama said...

I just can't even imagine what it must be like facing next week. I will be thinking of you!

I just finished doing licensed in home daycare. I just wanted to share something with you. In the 6 years I did it the young kids that came only one day a week had a very hard time. Being so young going a week in between daycare days was just too much. It was a hard transition every time. Every week. Some for months. But when a child comes 3 days a week or full time the transition goes so much faster. Often in just a day or so. Mondays might be a bit harder after a weekend at home with Mommy and Daddy but even that gets better after just a couple Mondays. I actually stopped taking kids just one day a week if they were under 2 years. And even then we would do a trial. It was just too much for those kids, the other kids in my home and for me too. Lauren being a bit older might do okay with one day a week but I just wanted to share this with you. I would hate for her to start going one day a week and have a hard time and make it harder for you to want to leave her there full time when the time comes. It might work better if you wait awhile and take her there 2-3 days a week for just the morning or something like that. That way there won't be such a long time in between for her to be unsure about. I think it helps them learn quickly that Mommy or Daddy always come back to pick me up!

Sorry for the long comment. I just wanted to share.


P.S. I have also found that the transition to daycare is usually harder for the parents then the kids ;)

Cora said...

I can't even imagine how hard going back to work will be. But I am sure you will be ok after a few weeks. I would start Lauren at Daycare slowly, that transition will probably be the hardest for her.
Good luck and Lauren is cuter every day if that is even possible.

Jacquie said...

I won't lie. It's hard. But Lauren will learn the schedule pretty quickly and know that when you leave in the morning, you'll come back at night. Having her on a regular schedule during the day while you're gone will make things easier on her so she's able to predict what will happen next.

M3 said...

Oh sweetie, it sounds hard!! Sending good thoughts and huge hugs for a smooth transition for everyone. Even as I write that I'm wincing, because anytime the word "transition" is used it's rough for everyone, isn't it?... sigh...

Ani said...

oh, my heart goes out to you. its always harder on us than it is on them... good luck.

Susan, Matt, Mia said...

It is very hard. I had 8 weeks off, but my husband went right back to work when we got home and was on days went I went back. My MIL watches Mia for us and I had to do the drop off. It was killing me to leave her. She wasn't phased very much because she was with family, but as soon as I got in the car I started to cry. Then there was the first person to ask me how it was to be back to work. She got a shoulder full.
It got easier because my husband went back to 3-11pm and I left for work while she was still sleeping. Four years later I am back to dropping her off in the morning and it still is a little hard.
She starts school in August. I can't imagine how it will be then.


Kristy said...

Oh bless your heart, my heart just aches for you. Just make the best of this week and trust me she will be okay, but I know just how hard it is. God bless all of you .
Love, Kristy

Jen said...

I cried every day for the first week when I returned to work and had to leave Hannah. It did get easier, but I never liked leaving her!

I'll be returning to work in August, after 5 months home with Emma. I imagine this time it will be worse since Emma is sooooo attached to me. Hannah was just a baby and she didn't care that I left her. Emma is 14 months now and I can hardly leave the room without her. I feel your pain - really I do!

And I have to say that your girl is absolutely gorgeous!

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Holy cow.. look at how big Lauren is getting. Isn't it amazing how quickly they change!
I'm sorry your time at home is coming to an end. I've totally btdt. I was afforded the opportunity to stay home with Maddy for 6 months due to layoffs at work. While not the best situation (as you know with joe) it was nice to be home. I had worked from home for 8 years prior to Maddy so heading back out into the work force where I had to use daycare was a total ACH!!! I took Maddy a few weeks to feel like we were in a groove but once we go there, things were good. Now she LOVES going to 'school' like a big girl.

Christi and Abbey said...

She is so cute and looks so very happy! I am so sorry for this time coming to an end for you. I know I'm in the dark ages but in my heart I still believe that little ones need to be with their moms, but as you know I have to work too. I am thrilled for you all that Joe can stay with her awhile longer. That's wonderful. I do think easing them into daycare is best, but understand what another poster said about one day a week being too hard on the kids. When she does go I would build up to a full day. The first time I took Abbey we just stayed and played for an hour or two. The first time I left her there I went grocery shopping and it was so strange, I felt like I was missing my right arm. I was crying while she played happily. It was so sweet that my daycare provider emailed me photos of her during the day my first week at work. Maybe Joe could do that for you, or Skype at lunch time. It really helped me to see photos of her having fun. As you know I moved to China to have this year with Abbey and I am really trying to figure a way to have some time with her again next year. This season is so precious.

Donna said...

Going back to work is tough, but you all will make the adjustment and will still find quality time together....good luck!

Anna said...

Lauren is precious! I've never had to "go back to work" outside of the home since having my kiddos, but I can only imaginie how hard it would be! Praying that you enjoy this week and that the transition goes as smoothly as possible!

sierrasmom said...

Hi, I have been thinking about you all week!! I know how much you have dreaded this. I hope it will be an easy transition for you.Even though my leave was extended through next school year, Sierra will have one more year after that before she goes to school. I already dread it!!! (But I am very thankful I am home!)
Lauren looks great, she is tooo cute!!!!
Hugs to you!

Christie said...

Ok, just totally teared up reading this post.


Sometimes, life is so stinkin' hard and so are the choices we have to make to make it work...


Karen said...

For you, just take your makeup with you to work, cause you will be reapplying all day long. I cried the entire time I was at work that first time. It was a long 12 hour night. It will take her some time, but she will have Daddy there. Make sure he is doing some of the primary care giving things this week (nap time).

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