Monday, January 12, 2009

Just can't sleep...

I think I may have nodded off for a couple of hours, but at 2:30am my eyes popped open and I couldn't get back to sleep. It's now 4:15am and I'm still awake but Qing Qing is still sleeping peacefully. I'm wide awake because I'm anticipating her waking up and me not being able to comfort her. She will wake up and realize that she is still not at home with her nannies at the orphanage. I'm gearing up for a long, hard day but hoping that she has less and less sadness and more and more smiles as the day goes on.

Thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments...I read them all with tears rolling down my face. Your support means the world to me and gives me so much comfort in a place so very far from home.

Mom, these video snippets are just for you. This first one is in the room where we got her and I got the first little smiles...



This one is at the restaurant just shortly after we left the Civil Affairs Office. I brought some Gerber baby prune puree and she really like it. I wanted to get a jump start at clearing out that plumbing! ;)



Well, I'm going to try and get a little rest since our wake up call comes at 6am.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love the vide, the second one doesn't open on my computer for some reason, but she looks so cute!! So excited for you!!
Colin and Veronic are here watching the video with me, they said that Lauren is soooo cute!!
Karlene

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

LOVE the video..the second one didn't come up for me either..
She is sooooo adorable..
I can't imagine how you are feeling..
Lauren will do fine..
You are a Great mommy..
Hugs..

Michelle said...

Love the videos and the pics. So wonderful seeing finally your hold your daughter. I hope things continue to improve and get easier a little bit day by day. She is precious!

Suzie said...

Congratulations! Lauren is just beautiful :o)

jgiel said...

It is so incredible being able to follow your experience there. Thanks for posting all the pictures and video (the 2nd didn't work for us either). The kids were really bummed that we hadn't heard anything by the time they went off to school... we had a hard time getting them to bed last night due to the excitement. I can't wait for them to come home and see all of this!

Love,
Stephanie

kelly said...

I hope things continue to improve! I'm not surprised you can't sleep, just try to enjoy these first few days with Lauren, they're going to go by so fast :-) Thank you for sharing your journey.

Linda said...

Thanks for the video, but the 2nd one did not open on the computer. The first one is precious...
I hope Lauren is a little less upset today, but hang in there, A smile several times the first day is priceless... Talk to you soon. Mom

Colleen said...

Can't wait to get home to see the videos (work internet blocks video sites)! You're doing all the right things, just keep providing comfort and food and she'll melt right in your arms! And it's agreed: Smiles the first day is a good sign! Congrats to both mom and dad!

Shauna said...

Donna, I had tears at school today reaading your post and remembering that sadness. As they sad this too shall pass but it is a tough road. I am sure that each day will get less painful for lauren. Such a huge change and I remember that look in their sweet eyes of such pain. Hang in there you are doing an amazing job.

Love and wishes for better days ahead.
Shauna and MacLean xoxo

OziMum said...

Its great to see, and Hear you!!! The 2nd movie wasn't opening - but I'm sure it was great!!!

Hope you did get some sleep. And I hope you have a WONDERFUL day with your baby girl! :0)

Christie said...

Donna - I know how hard this is (been there!!) and at the same time, how completely wonderful and life changing. Trust me when I tell you - it WILL get better. This is the hard part - because you're so far from home and out of your element. It's the biggest transition of your life, and you have to do it from a hotel room. Just know that you are OK - and you're doing it right. Love her, hold her, comfort her, protect her - all those things your instincts tell you. I promise the overwhelming bit will fade with time. Big hug girl - you can DO IT!

Love and hugs - Christie

Carol said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smiling already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!

And she is SLEEPING!!!!!

You are a natural MOMMIE!!!!!!

Peta-maree said...

Congratulation. Lauren looks so good in your arms. Welcome to parenthood.

lots of Hugs

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shelley said...

You're doing great, Mama. She is precious.

A Waiting Cousin said...

This is amazing! Lauren's soo cute and I can't wait to see her on the 23rd! Have fun and enjoy every moment in China!!!
~Emily

a Tonggu Momma said...

Loved the first video! She is just precious.

Doreen said...

I can't get the videos to work!!!! Hopefully next ones (notice I said Next as in more...) will be working better. What a good mama you are already,anticipating Lauren will wake up and need you. Get used to it...this, my friend, is a lifelong condition! Enjoy!
try to sleep alittle, you need your strength.
Doreen in Montreal single mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan
last post I forgot to put who I was!!!! I was that excited!!!!

Katie said...

AUNT DONNA!!
I almost got caught at school when I was going through your pictures on the internet! My dad texted me though, so I had to!! (texting is also against the rules.) Can't you just skip the rest of the process and just come home????!?? I neeeeeeedd to see her!! All my friends officially declared her the cutest baby ever!! She is so amazingly beautiful!! I CALL BABY SITTING AS SOON AS SHE FINISHED HER ATTACHMENT STUFF!!! I CALL IT!!! k thanks :))) ;)
Katie :)

Joannah said...

Oh, happy day!!! I love seeing you with Lauren in your arms.

:-)

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

She is too cute, even cuter than her referral picture.

I hope that things get easier soon.

Julie said...

She's beautiful and you're a natural. But we knew that.

It will be tough these first days, but you will be just fine.

So very happy for you!

hiltonsheadeast said...

Oh, Donna ! I so remember being where you are. I do hope you had a good morning so far with Qing Qing. She's amazing.

Hugs,
Lori**

Let us know if we can help

Alyson and Ford said...

I am so happy SHE is sleeping.
You know the only thing I can say, is for you to figure out how to get some rest; and that it DOES get BETTER.
Wish I could spell you for a few hours and give you a BIG hug!

Alyzabeth's Mommy

amyinbc said...

CONGRATULATIONS New Mom and Dad! I just found you recently and am so touched and happy to read of your adventures.

I can only imagine the happiness you are both feeling after waiting so long for this day :)

Catherine said...

what a sweetie! Poor little lamb is still confused but soon she will turn the corner and you'll see so many changes. I love looking at the changes in their eyes over the first few days. Praying for all of you. xoxo

Michele said...

Congrats! I love the video of her eating. I pray that Lauren's mourning will lesson each day as she learns to trust you (and she will). Looks like she is a good eater which is great. Enjoy your time in China!

Nancy & Brian said...

She is so beautiful!!! I am so enjoying your blogs. It takes me back to a very special place in my heart. We are so happy for you guys. I love her tongue in the eating video it is so adorable. :)
Keep doing what your doing...each day gets easier and more rewarding.

Nancy

Sandy said...

Love the videos, esp watching you feed your daughter! She is precious! Couldn't sleep so I had to come check your blog and send you positive thoughts and (((hugs))) that Lauren's adjustment progresses.

redmaryjanes said...

What she is doing is very normal. Poor little babe, she just doesn't know yet that her future is so wonderful and that she is so very loved. Hang in there, it will be ok and she will work through it. You look just perfect together.

Sending love and prayers!

tootie said...

Congratulations! Enjoy your first moments with your daughter!

Steph said...

Love the video's! She is just so beautiful. I know your GOTCHA day wasn't what you wanted, but it will make the next few days as Lauren opens up all the more special! Enjoy your time in China. It goes by so fast!

Ladybugsmom said...

Oh Donna...big hugs...you all are doing great and just hang in there...get your sleep.
Emily

Tammy said...

She is darling. Congratulations to all three of you! Wishing you all the best and easy days ahead for your family.

PIPO said...

Beautiful girl and beautiful mama getting to know her!

Thanks for sharing these early moments together.

A Waiting Cousin said...

The second one works now, but the first one doesn't! Anyway, looks like you're having a great time together, even during the meltdowns ;)
~Emily