Tuesday, January 06, 2009

A little freak out...

It's been a bit of an emotional day today. For some reason I woke up and it hit me...oh my God, we leave for China on Thursday!! I've been fairly calm up until now, which isn't normal for me since I don't like to fly, so I guess a freak out was to be expected.

I had myself all worked up with all kinds of random thoughts...

will we oversleep on Thursday morning?
will our flights get in safe?
did I forget to pack something important?
will we know what to do with Lauren?
what if she doesn't like us?
what if she cries all night and we can't calm her down?
what if she's sick and we don't know what to do?
what if one of us gets sick?
what the heck are we doing flying all the way to China to adopt a baby?

Then I took a deep breath and e-mailed one of my Yahoo Groups and several of my friends who have been to China and back talked me off the edge. They said that this is perfectly normal and they all had their freak out moments before they left. I can't tell you how much better I felt after that...thank God for them...talk about a life line!

Can you believe it's only...


fuzzandfuzzlet said...

will we oversleep on Thursday morning? Set two alarms, three if it makes you feel better. But I don`t think you could over sleep if you tried.

will our flights get in safe? yep

did I forget to pack something important? There are stores in China, there are travel buddies to borrow from.

will we know what to do with Lauren? Yep, you are going to discover this amazing tool that I like to call "mommy gut" Listen to your gut and you will know what to do.

what if she doesn't like us?
She will, but she will probably hate the situation.

what if she cries all night and we can't calm her down?
The sun will come out tomorrow. You will know her feelings are normal and valid. You will know every minute you spend trying to comfort her is a bonding moment.

what if she's sick and we don't know what to do?
Listen to your gut. Talk to your travel buddies, they will have suggestions. Remind yourself thta sometimes when your kid is sick there is not a lot you can do.

what if one of us gets sick? The other of you will step up to the plate and take care of everyone. If all else fails remind yourself "this too shall pass"

what the heck are we doing flying all the way to China to adopt a baby? making a beautiful family.

Joan said...

That's about when I had my meltdown too... a few days before I left. It was my next to last day at work and I cracked. The director sent me home with the promise I would come back the next day for the lunch they were having in my honor. And they paid me for the two days without making me use vacation time. I think they are still talking about the meltdown 6 years later. :-)

Can't wait to see the pictures of you guys with your daughter. :-)

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

YOU with BOTH be fine..
I am sooo excited for you..
Lauren is going to be perfect..
I can't wait to follow you..
2 more sleeps girly..
Have a Fast 2 days..

Lisa said...

Meltdown and freak out. I think that both of those are totally normal when you are about to become a parent for the first time. I remember standing in the Civil Affairs building waiting to use the elevator to go to the 4th floor to pick up my Lauren. I kept thinking I can walk out this door right now and go home. I was was having a little meltdown right there. It is scary and exciting and it will be so much fun. I have had my daughter for almost 5 years now and it just gets better and better.

One piece of advise, when you are in China, remember to have fun and to enjoy the time you are there. Don't worry about the little things they will work out, just have fun it goes by so fast.

I can't wait to see your Lauren in your arms!!


Diana said...

Tomorrow, tomorrow..you leave TOMORROW!!!!
(it is Wednesday when I am reading this:)
I am sooooo excited for you!!!

Set 3 alarms:)
If you foget something..borrow it!
If you get sick the other one of you will take over..
If Lauren gets sick the MOM in you will know what to do:)
If she grieves you will be there to love her!!!!!
AND my favorite..You are going to China for YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!

Lynn said...

Donna, I have been following your blog for some time and I am so very excited to have the opportunity to see you meet your daughter for the first time!

If you weren't anxious, you not be a MOTHER! Unfortunately for those of us who want to foresee every possible hiccup some things are best experienced by jumping in!

And just like every other challenge in your life, sure something MIGHT go wrong but you will handle it when it happens with strength and confidence. Most likely, the only thing that will happen, is that you worried for nothing!

Take it one glorious moment at a time! Jump in! You have planned and dreamed about this for more than 3 years, you are ready...

amy said...

Yeah for 2 more sleeps. I am learning so much from you and its soo exciting

Nate and Brenda said...

I have felt that with all 3 of my adoptions. Every time. You just take a deep breath and take ONE day at a time. You will be fine!!

Jboo said...

Add me to the list of those who had a freakout before leaving for China! It will be more than ok and will be an amazing experience. Remember, your agency guide there will be helpful too and assist if there is an illness. Enjoy every single moment! Can't wait to follow along!


Catherine said...

Oh friend...what you're feeling is oh so normal even though it feels so out of control. Your life is changing minute by minute, moment by moment. You're already an awesome mommy and Lauren Elizabeth will be so well cared for by you. You'll know what to do...even if it takes 5 attempts to figure out exactly what she wants 'this' time. You'll do great!

Love you. Praying for you often. Will be praying for you when Lauren Elizabeth is placed in your arms Monday!! xo

Cora said...

Freak out completely understandable
I am so glad that we have people who have done it before to help when the freak outs come.
Take care you are almost there!!

Shelley said...

It's one sleep now.

You? Oversleep? I don't think so. If you get any sleep at all tonight, I'll be surprised. :) But get your rest. And you'll have plenty of time on the plane to catch up.

Go with the flow Donna. Everything will be just fine. And there will be people there to help you with any situation. Also, the friendship stores have everything you will need should you forget something.

Just love that baby up. That's all you need to do. Everything else will fall into place.

Have a wonderful day today. You've earned it!



chicknboy said...

I think we ALL have our freak out moments. I had several..before both bio kids were born AND before we left for China to get Elizabeth. :)

glad you're feeling better and more at peace. :)

praying for ya..and can't wait to have that play date between Lauren and Elizabeth (and probably my other 2!)

Gail said...

Oh Yes, Its very normal to have a freak out.
I did it both times and this last time I had a bit of a "panic" attack in the hotel room AFTER getting the baby!
I have been told that pregnant mommy's do the same.
Wishing you a wonderful adventure!
Looking forward to seeing that picture of Lauren in your arms!

Carol said...

everything when completely backwards for us before we left so we were ready for anything at that point, but everything fell into place.....now there were some moments when we thought "Oh no..."....but things got taken care of and the guides did a wonderful job....I wish I had relaxed more and enjoyed the trip but you know me....I was counting the minutes to Emily....I will say if you are taking the Beijing tour...be prepared...they will keep you busy!!! We didn't have much time to think about the baby..it was go, go, go!!!!

mommy2gabby said...

I countinue to check in on your progress and I am just thrilled that you are leaving on Thursday to go to China. Lauren is just precious and adorable.

I will continue to follow your progress and we are requesting a 2-3 yr. old little girl.

I love the 2 sleeps! That is just adorable. May you have some peace as you travel and assume the role of motherhood. You have had her in your heart forever and you will do just fine. It is amazing how the mothering instincts kick in when you need them!

Take care,
LID 4/30/07

Kristy said...

You are perfectly normal Mommy!!!

I just can't wait till you get there!!!

Love and blessings, Kristy

Michelle said...

I think a freak out at this point is completely normal!

You guys are going to do great.

Two more sleeps! Wow. And also

TWO. MORE. SLEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I may have a freak out on your behalf :)

Sophia's Mama and Baba said...

Donna if all of this happens it wont matter one bit because you will still be Laurens Mommy and that makes everything OK.. Remember to breath in and out.

Love Ya

OziMum said...

You won't oversleep!!! I'll wager you won't sleep at all!!!

Ooooo 2 more sleeps!!! (or no sleep?!!) HOW EXCITING!!! I woke up this morning all excited, and we won't be leaving for another 3-4 weeks!!!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Even better than the alarms -- just don't go to sleep that night! You'll be much more likely to conquer the jet lag then. (At least, it worked for the husband and I.)

Yen973 said...

I had my meltdown just before takeoff. I think you guys will be just fine. You will figure out pretty quickly what will work best for Lauren. I can't wait to see her with her forever family.

Norma said...

safe and happy journey!!! we will tag along for the ride. i leave in less than 2 months to volunteer at a foster home with my big girls.........their first time back!!!!

Doreen said...

Freaking is normal! Do you honestly believe you'll oversleep and miss the plane...like you're going to sleep?
OMG! YOU'RE LEAVING TO GET LAUREN!!!! How cool is that?
Safe travels there.

Doreen in Montreal single Mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan

PIPO said...

Happy and safe travels to you!!!!

Wendy said...

Congratulations....your're in Beijing!!! Have a wonderful, safe, amazing trip. I have heard these "freak out" takes from just about everyone for years. It's just your body's way of reminding you that you're alive. Even with all the nerves, flights, adjustments, this will probably be the best thing you've ever done (even if it seems crazy and chaotic in the moment). Can't wait to see you with your new daughter!