Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'm hanging in there...

but it sure is HARD going back to work!

On Monday morning Lauren woke up before I left at 6:15am, so I was able to hold her for a few minutes before I left. I told her that Baba was going to watch Elmo and have breakfast with her and that I was going to work and would be back after she gets up from "nite-nite". Then I gave her a kiss good-bye along with a quick hug. She said the sweetest "good-bye" while I was walking down the hall to the garage. I didn't loose it until I got in the car and I managed to gain my composure pretty quickly. I had arranged to pick up my friend, Christine, on the way in...I figured if I was distracted with chit chat, I wouldn't be tearing up.

The work day flew by and before I knew it, it was 5pm and time to go. I only called Joe once that morning and I got through the day without any tears until I called Joe on the way home. He said that Lauren was crying and calling for me when she got up from her nap. With that, the water works started and I had a little cry on the way home.

The very BEST part of the day was coming home and seeing her smiling face waiting to give me a big hug! Joe has been great and he's had dinner ready when I got home for the past two days so I can maximize my time with Little Miss. The three hours we have before she goes to bed flies by and it's just not nearly enough! Monday night as she feel asleep in my arms, I couldn't help but tear up again wondering how I was going to get up and do it all over again the next day.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy and it isn't, that's for sure! But, I can say with all honesty that it hasn't been as hard as I had worked up in my mind over the past few years while waiting and wondering how I'm going to go back to work. I am lucky that Joe will be home until he starts working again. The lose of his salary is hard on the pocket, but works well for Lauren right now. By the time he gets work, she will be ready to go into daycare and spend the day with other children. I think that will actually be very good for her and will go a long way in continuing to pick up the language and learning.

Thank you all so much for your well wishes!


a Tonggu Momma said...

Thinking of you during this transition time, Donna. Huge hugs coming your way.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

I am tearing up reading this..
I know I will be a mess when I have to go back to work.. Hopefully I can have 12 weeks.. if not I will truly be a mess...
Glad Joe can be with her..
Have a fast 2 days.. then it is the weekend.. and you can spend 2 days holding sweet Lauren..

Jboo said...

Thinking of you too. Take care.


Christie said...

darnit...I just got all teary again. sigh.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Why can't we all be independently wealthy?!? (snort)

XOXO my sweet friend...

Kristy said...

Oh I love the feeling you get when they run to you and you now that they have missed you.

Love, Kristy

Ani said...

It does get easier, as you all settle down into the routine. I promise!

So glad that she's spending quality time with her Daddy - she's one lucky girl.

Anne said...

I know it is so hard. It's still hard for me to leave Elizabeth every day, probably always will be. It sounds like you have a good support system at work, and that Daddy is doing a great job at home:)

Susan, Matt, Mia said...

Glad you made it through your first couple of days. One more day and then the weekend.


OziMum said...

:) Its nice to be loved, hey?!

Sophia's Mama and Baba said...

Big hugs Donna you did great your first week I cried everyday my first week back. Lauren will benifit from having some one on one daddy time..Big hugs to you chin up it gets easier.


Sean and Mic said...

It gets easier over time, although you will probably always wish you were with her! I love when she sees me at daycare and runs to me with the biggest smile. That is what gets me thru the work day!
Good luck- and hang in there!

Alyson and Ford said...

How are you doing? Hoping all is going better. It is hard. I have very little time with AA on work nights but her Baba is home all day with her too. Works great!

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Hope all is well.. just thinking about you..
Have a great Memorial Weekend..

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